Do you remember Noel's limerick?

There was a young fellow called Perkin

Who was always jerkin his gherkin.

His wife said, Look Perkin,

Stop jerkin your gherkin -

Your gherkin's for ferkin, not jerkin.

Yes! I don't think I've heard that one since the night he told it to us! Noel's dead now, isn't he?

He died about two years ago.

Shall we have a look inside?

What, inside the gherkin?

Yes, why not?

No, no, Ivan - that's typical of you.

What do you mean, typical of me? That's the kind of thing Ingrid says.

We're here for a specific reason, to look at these churches, and straight away you're trying to change the agenda. Let's look at the churches first, and then if we've got time we can come back. I'm warning you, though - this is going to bore the tits off you.

So - what am I doing it for?

I thought you might like to see for yourself how dull I've become since I turned fifty.

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