Two old men coming out through the swing doors, with a dog! Bringing a dog into church! An old-looking greyhound. What kind of place are they running here? Kind of scruffy and unconventional. Smart old men though, tweedy. Both of them must be in their seventies or eighties, one with a goatee beard.

BRITAIN HAS GONE SOFT ON DRUNKS. But that's what all their headlines are like, don't you think? Their basic starting-position is that everything's going to hell in a handcart.

I couldn't agree more.

Did you go to the meeting last night?

Oh yes. Absolutely fascinating. Really fascinating. Last week he got up to D-Day, but this week he was doing the Atlantic Convoy thing, and it was a bit more in-depth. He was switching from one side to the other. One minute it was how the Germans saw it, and the next minute it was from the British point of view. I must say I was really on the edge of my seat. It wasn't just exciting - it was gripping.

He's looking straight at me. I'll have to say something.

A dog? A dog in a church?

Oh yes. Certainly. He's the curate.

What a witty remark. He said that with a mischievous twinkle. Obviously a real character. Must be something to do with the running of the church. He'd never have the nerve to bring a dog in here otherwise.

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